50 Best Soccer Jokes You Will Read Today!

boy laughing best soccer jokes title image

Everyone loves a good joke. And of all the jokes out there, I think that soccer jokes are some of the best!

What could be better than a combination of the sport you love and laughing and enjoying yourself?!

When you start looking around the internet, you soon find that there are so many different jokes out there, and it can feel impossible to know where to look for the best ones.

So, in this article, I’ve done the research and put together a list of the best soccer jokes I’ve heard and the best ones I found so you can simply read through and enjoy them all in one place.

The Benefit of Laughing and Joking With Others

And you should know that laughing together can even have serious benefits.

One way to promote group bonding and improve team spirit is by laughing together. And a large factor in any successful soccer team is a strong team spirit.

A team of players who are comfortable around each other can enjoy each other’s company and are far more likely to play well together.

So take a few of these jokes, tell them to your soccer friends, and get on with the serious business of laughing together!

You’ll all soon be rolling around in laughter.

Kid-Friendly Jokes

I’ve also made sure this list of jokes is suitable for kids and adults alike.

So check out the jokes below and enjoy a good few laughs!

50 Funniest Soccer Jokes


new jersey soccer joke

What’s the best state to shop for a soccer uniform?

New Jersey!


Cinderella soccer joke

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?

Because she ran away from the ball!


dinosaur soccer joke

What is it called when a dinosaur gets a goal?

A dino-score!


cleats soccer joke

Which soccer player has the biggest cleats?

The one with the biggest feet!


school soccer joke

Why do soccer players do well in school?

They know how to use their heads!


soccer field soccer joke

What runs around a soccer field but never moves?

A fence!


computer soccer joke

My computer’s got the ‘Bad-Goalie Virus’.

It can’t save anything!


Bumble bee soccer joke

What did the Bumble Bee forward say after getting a goal?

Hive scored!


stadium soccer joke

Why is a soccer stadium the coolest place to be?

Because it’s full of fans!


referee soccer joke

What do soccer referees send during the holidays?

Yellow cards!


room soccer joke

You are locked inside a car with nothing but a soccer ball. How do you get out?

Unlock the door and pull the handle!


forwards soccer joke

What are successful forwards always trying to do?

Reach goals!


goalkeeper soccer joke

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can’t stop saving their work!


pigs soccer joke

Why can’t you play soccer with pigs?

They hog the ball!


match soccer joke

What lights up a soccer field at night?

A soccer match!


eggs soccer joke

Why are scrambled eggs like a losing soccer team?

Because they’ve both been beaten!


fans soccer joke

How do soccer players stay cool during a game?

They stand near the fans!


bible soccer joke

What’s the first reference to soccer in the Bible?

“And then Jesus went up for the cross”!


string soccer joke

Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?

So she could tie the score!


Cinderella pumpkin soccer joke

Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?

Because she had a pumpkin for a coach!


judge soccer joke

When is a soccer player like a judge?

When he sits on the bench!


announcer soccer joke

What did Santa bring the naughty soccer announcer?



invisible soccer joke

What would you get if you crossed a soccer player and the Invisible Man?

Soccer like no one has ever seen!


lotion soccer joke

What’s a soccer fan’s favorite lotion brand?

Olay, olay, olay, olay!


bird soccer joke

How do birds cheer for their soccer team?  

They egg them on!


brother soccer joke

My brother plays soccer for a team called the Musketeers.

They’ve started the season well with three wins and a draw, all 4-1 and one 4 all!


tea soccer joke

What tea do soccer players drink?



old soccer joke

Did you hear about the soccer player who lived past 100?

He’s still alive and kicking!


referee whistle soccer joke

How do we know that soccer referees are happy?

Because they whistle while they work!


sheep soccer joke

What soccer team do sheep like?



boxer soccer joke

Why didn’t the dog want to play soccer? 

He was a boxer!


pencil soccer joke

I was playing soccer last week, and the referee said the penalty could only be taken if the ball was stationary.

So I swapped it for a pencil!


dance soccer joke

Where do soccer players dance?

At a soccer ball!


mud soccer joke

My son played soccer in the mud all day.

He was a little Messi!


red card soccer joke

Why was the soccer player upset on their birthday?

They got a red card!


defender soccer joke

What do you call a defender who just ate a big meal?

A fullback!


flood soccer joke

What did the soccer coach do when the field became flooded?

He sent on his subs!


dribble soccer joke

Why did the soccer coach start a one-year-old on the team?

She was incredible at dribbling!


flight attendant soccer joke

What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant?

“Put me in coach”!


sweeper soccer joke

Which soccer player keeps the field neat?

The sweeper!


triangle soccer joke

How did the soccer field end up as a triangle?

Somebody took a corner!


third ball soccer joke

Why didn’t the team want to play with a third ball?

It was an oddball!


chicken soccer joke

What did the referee say to the chicken who tripped a defender?



lunch soccer joke

What do you call a soccer team’s lunch in the park?

A kick-Nic!


kick soccer joke

Why did the soccer ball quit the team?

It was tired of being kicked around!


world cup soccer joke

Where was the first World Cup held?

In the hands of the winners!


annie soccer joke

Why does Annie like soccer?

She gets a kick out of it!


goalkeeper soccer joke

Which player brings the goalposts and net home after each game?

The goal-keeper!


field soccer joke

How did the soccer field get all wet?

The players dribbled all over it!


nose soccer joke

Why wasn’t the Nose on the soccer team?

It didn’t get picked!

Find out more

*If you enjoyed this article, check out the next post – 4 Reasons Why Soccer Players Walk out with Kids*

*And if you’re interested in finding out more about soccer, check out this post I recently did – A Simple and Easy to Understand Guide to the Rules of Soccer *

Ben Clayfield

Hi! My name's Ben. I've played, watched, read about, and enjoyed soccer throughout my life. I really enjoy finding out more about the game I love and sharing it with you all. Find out more about me here - Ben Clayfield

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